Straws. Ancient. Timeless. Tubular.
Behold. The penultimate of all straws since the Egyptians. Created from metal and crafted to slurp liquids. True love for turtles, the sea and dominance over your open topped beverages.
We had written another wildly and comprehensive paragraph to describe these unicorn horns of utensils, but we've now locked that away in a safety deposit box.
Oh yeah. These also come with brushes for even more technical cleaning (clean them after use, obviously). Also a bag, in case you need to kidnap long necked gnomes.